In-Between

Written By Ayooluwa

Life is such an unpredictable concept, one filled with a roller coaster of emotions and uncertainties. 

You’re in a phase where something that once felt good for you (a job, a relationship, a lifestyle) no longer does.

Deep down, you know you’ve outgrown it and it’s time to move on. 

But you’re hesitant about the change because this is what you’ve known for a while. You’re scared to make the decision to let go, fearing the uncertainty of the future.

You try to ignore the nudge and find ways around the situation, searching for patches to hold it all together. 

Yet, your mind and body remain uncomfortable with the patches, persistently nudging you toward the change. At this phase, your spirit might be unwilling, but your mind and body aren’t letting you rest until you succumb to letting go.

You finally succumb, but it is hard. 

Your fears are heightened, and you may cry, laugh, or fret due to uncertainties. You might even start having regrets and worry that you’ve made a mistake. 

Then, as time passes, you gain clearer insight into why the decision to let go was necessary and expedient. 

It’s like a light: you begin to see how and why you deserve better. You realize the need for the hard decision you made and understand you’re on the right track, but your current reality doesn’t provide much of a stronghold to keep you going. 

Now, you waste time longing for the familiarity and comfort of your past. Yet, no matter how much time you spend procrastinating, you remain steadfast in your decision because your conviction is too strong to ignore. 

The good thing is that it’s just a phase, and the beauty lies in the fact that it gets better. 

Yes! It’s easier said than done, but it’s the truth. 

Life gets better, situations become easier, and while the process might be tough, do whatever you need to make it through. Cry, eat, rant, but ensure you don’t do anything you’ll regret later. 

The truth is, when you look back, you’ll realize, ‘Oh! It wasn’t that hard after all.’ 

I must say, standing firm in your decision doesn’t mean you’ve conquered the fear or are completely certain about it. You can still miss the ‘past’ especially when you see others living the dream you once envisioned. 

Here’s what I’ll say: take courage, hold on, and stay strong, because what’s meant for you will find you, and in a better form than you ever imagined. 

In my journey of life, I’ve come to realize that:

• Sometimes, you have to lose something important to you to gain better things in greater abundance

• Other times, you need to lose something, perhaps because you’re meant to go through this phase alone

It’s not easy, and honestly, it takes time. It might be weeks, months or even years. Ironically, despite the long wait, you might falter, and hesitate again. However, I’ll say this: give yourself grace during your phase of hesitation, but do not settle. Constantly remind yourself of the new understanding you’ve gained about the necessity of the hard decision.

Learn to choose you. It’s ok to be scared but in all, be sure to let yourself go through the process. 

If you’re spiritual, surrender your actions to the supreme being you believe in. I believe in God the Almighty, and so even in my moments of fear and worry, I surrender to him. I might not understand, but that’s what faith is for. Trusting that the supreme being will guide you and give you the strength to go through the phase you currently at.

So Dear Reader,

Regardless of whatever phase you’re in – good, bad, happy, sad, or scared, understand that you can’t always do life alone. There’s strength in numbers, but even greater strength in quality numbers. I encourage you to look for your person(s) (read: your tribe) because they make life worth living. Also, remember that in finding your person(s), you must also be someone worth having in their corner. 

Maybe this phase is yours to navigate alone, but even in moving solo, make sure you’re working on yourself too! 

Take care of your mind, body, spirit and all that makes you as you prepare for your beautiful future.

I’m rooting for you💗